If this play doesn't win the Heisman Trophy for me then the Heisman Trophy can go to hell. Literally. It can burn in a fiery inferno of demons for all I care. It can roast in Satan's pit along with O.J. Simpson. And Madonna. I don't need that trophy anyway. The Heisman Trophy needs me. It needs me to make it meaniful. It needs me to give it legitimacy. It needs me to complete it. That trophy needs me to hold it up and smile for the photographers so that everyone in the world will know that I am the best player alive.
I heard the winner also gets a holiday Heisman ball of cheddar as well.
The Cream Puff State boys were surprised that I could jump so high. See how I bounced back up after the play? Tim Tebow or Colt McCoy would have been rolling all over the ground screaming like little girls who had their ponytails pulled.
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